So for the past month I’ve been pretty quiet online. I’ve been stuck in my own head and lacking a bit of motivation. Each day has become quite mundane, but that has felt safe. I haven’t really been sad or low, just a bit numb really, not much else going on. I’ve been having thoughts that I’m unworthy and having suicidal ideas again. I really wish I could switch my brain off at times, it’s relentless.
The one thing I have been doing is sleeping lots, at least 10 hours a night! And yet I am always tired, I can nap most days and have very low energy. At night once I get to sleep I can sleep forever, but I struggle to drift off at the start. I think this is because 1- I’m sleeping too much, so I’m tired but not sleepy and 2- the unstoppable, whirling nonsense in my brain. That voice which tells me to give up, I’m not good enough, that I’m a waste of time and space. It’s not a kind voice at all…..Read More