I haven’t posted much of an update recently, so thought I should. Just in case you’re wondering how I am getting on.
This year is passing me by and I still feel stuck. I feel like I want to do something, but my brain is holding me back. I wish I could fully function as ‘normally’ as possible. I used to be able to do what I wanted, to enjoy things, to be a person who contributed and I feel I’ve lost that.
I’m still off sick from work. I tried to go back last week, but that resulted in a couple of big panic attacks and a trip to the GP, who thought I had tried too soon. I’ve now been off for 9 weeks :-( so frustrating! And the guilt doesn’t get any easier.
I’m taking my medication every day (1.5mg of Haloperidol & 300mg of Venlafaxine). I’ve been on this dosage 5-6 weeks. I feel the anxiety is lessening, but I’m obviously not there yet. I was on some sleeping tablets to help with the insomnia, but these have run out and my sleeping has become erratic again. I’m going to speak to the mental health doctor about it again next week.
I had a formal meeting at work on Monday which was intense, I was so overwhelmed I fainted. I’ve not done that for a while, I’ve been told I hyperventilate on the inside and that’s what causes me to faint. Thankfully work are still being supportive and we’re all hoping I will go back in early April. That’s when my fit note runs out.
Hopefully the meds will keep doing their job and I’ll be over the attacks, then I can get back to my routine. Fingers crossed!!